Question of the day ??
Should pastors be paid for weddings and/or funerals? And are the weddings an obligation of the pastor, or should the pastor have the right of refusal?
* I'm curious to see if there are any differences in opinion between pastors and laity here so please state which you are if you comment. Thanks.
posted by Greg Hazelrig @ 7:47 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
As laity, I'm of the opinion that pastors should, and should not, be paid for weddings and funerals. In the instances where it is for members of the congregation for whom the services are provided, no, I don't think they should be paid. When it's for those who may be on the membership roles, but don't attend, or someone outside the church who needs the service, then paying for those services would be appropriate.
I see the difference as being similar to "employer/employee" relationships (as pastor over a congregation) versus "contractor/contractee" relationships where one outside the organization contracts for services.
At least that's how I see it.
Laity here. Also a recent Mother of the Bride!
Pastors should definitely be paid for weddings and funerals unless the couple or family are in financial distress. In the PCUSA the pastor is required to conduct counseling sessions with the couple before the ceremony, so a significant amount of time is required for the pastor.
Also, the pastor in the PCUSA has the right to refuse to conduct the wedding if the counseling reveals things that make them question the intention of the couple etc. I think this is entirely appropriate.
Thank you three for your answers. We Methodists are not required by the Conference to do those sessions you spoke of, but I do require them. I feel that if people are serious about marriage and want to be wed in a church, they must take the spiritual aspect seriously as well. The first question I make them answer is "Why do you want to be married by a minister and in a church instead of by a justice of the peace?
As for funerals, I see this as a ministry to people who are hurting. I never ask for money, and have on a few occasions not been paid. But I don't turn it down simply because they may see that as a gift to me for helping the family through a tough time.
Church funerals & weddings are not a "right." They are ministries of the Church, and thus are a blessing from God, not something anyone should expect to receive but by the grace of God.
In twenty years of ministry, I've only once refused to conduct a wedding. A neighboring pastor did however. The couple was divorced within 6 months.
As far as getting paid, I have conducted both weddings & funerals without any honorium. However, I think with the exception of a few instances where the people really couldn't afford to pay me anything, it was pretty cheap on the part of those who didn't acknowledge my service in some way. Why is it that 10's of thousands of dollars can be spent on a wedding or funeral & giving the pastor, without whom the service would not take place, a small gift is such a big deal?
I am in agreement with John B on Weddings. People plan weddings all the time and the cheapest thing that is often paid for is the pastor's work in them.
enqpeiWe tried to pay the pastor (who was a stand in at the last minute as my pastor's father passed away a few days before our wedding). He would not accept anything, it was his gift to us. Which I thought was very sweet. But he also bought us a present.
I never thought about a funeral. I suppose it only makes sense that he would be paid. (I know our church charges a fee for funerals of non-members, but I don't know if it includes a fee for the pastor) But...isn't that part of his job? Should a pastor be paid for hospital visits? counseling? saying the prayer before the men's breakfast?
Greg,
I think that pastors should be paid for both weddings and funerals.
Yes, a pastor does have the right of refusal to marry a couple. Even a couple where one or both is a member of his own church.
I'm a layman :-)
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