Repentance from Divorce
I was over at another blog doing something I shouldn't. I posted what I believed to be a middle of the road type of post in an argument over homosexuality. There has been enough said about that issue, and I won't say any more at this time. What I will say is this. I got slammed because of my sin. My sin is that before I became a Christian, I was married and divorced. I acknowledge my sin and have asked for forgiveness.
What I was told was that I should repent. I have no problem with this. I totally agree with the fact that we are all sinners in need of repentance. I believe that Jesus taught us that we should repent. I agree that to repent is to stop and turn from something. I would also suggest checking out Andy Stoddard's post on repentance. It is a wonderfully put definition of what not only he believes, but what I believe as well.
But the thing is this. I was told that I should give up my credentials and go back and make things work with my ex-wife. I'm not quite sure how that would be repentance, seeing as how I would sin again by leaving my wife now. And I'm not too sure how God, or my ex-wife's husband, would think about my trying to restart my relationship with her.
So how do I repent? Personally, I know that God has forgiven me. I have asked for forgiveness and He has called me to be a pastor even after the sin of divorce.
How many believe I need to take the next step and do the "right" thing as suggested, which is to repent by leaving my wife and trying to break up my ex-wife's marriage?
posted by Greg Hazelrig @ 7:00 AM
16 comments
16 Comments:
Why should it "count" what you did before you accepted Christ? You were living in sin, without Jesus, back then, anyway, right? Non-Christians don't have to follow Christian rules. What kind of tyrants are you acquainted with??
The bible says that you're not supposed to go back to the ex-wife after you've remarried.
I can't remember where that was (probably in the long list of laws in the OT, but if someone is harping on the Law so much as to snark at you for having been divorced, I'm sure the OT LAW is holding up for 'em.), but I remember being fascinated with the passage. Once you divorce and move on, God doesn't want you to go back to the one you divorced.
You might consider hanging out with people who believe God when He says that we're now living under Grace, not the Law, as followers of Christ.
Love your blog, hate to think of you being treated like that....
All I have to say that someone that slammed you because of something like that, just makes me angry. We are human. Each of us is a sinner. Jesus died for our sins.
God waits til we are dead to judge us. Fellow man is not so forgiving? Let he who is without sin throw the first stone.
Go back? no way. Go FORWARD.
Both the pastors at my church were divorced and have remarried. Both believe, like you, that their divorces were the result of their own sinfulness and the sinfulness of their ex-wives and repent of that. Repentance in this context means making your current marriage work.
This remark to you just shows how quickly people resort to ad hominem attacks when the subject of homosexuality and the church is raised.
Greg,
Whomever told you to give up your credentials and go back and make things work with your ex-wife was obviously a stupid dumb-A$$!
(1) your sin of divorce is between you and God. You have repented of that sin. You are washed in blood of Christ. Yes, the legacy of that sin remains in our physical world (you have an exwife and she and exhusband) but in the eyes of God, it is gone. I like the scene in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe when Aslan talks to Edmund after his treachery and then tells the other childern, "we will never speak of that issue again". To put it simply, that is the joy that you have. Yes, the memory is there for you, but God will never speak of it again.
(2) I assume that you are true to your word, that God called you to preach. Correct. Well, if God and Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit called you to preach the Gospel, then who is this idiot to tell you that you should give up your credentials as a UM pastor? If you are truly doing the work of God, then whose kingdom would this person's advice be serving? The Lord's? Certainly not!
(3) if you follow the example set by Christ, did he tell the woman at the well to make things right with her first husband, or what about her 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th? No, He told her to go forward and sin no more.
It is milk and graham cracker idiot Christians like the one you referred to that give the Lord's Kingdom a bad name. They need to spend much more time reading and study the Bible and the example set by Christ and the great Christian Saints, and a whole lot less telling you how to fix your life.
....And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more." (John 8:11 ESV)
Sounds like a definition of repentance from an authorative source.
Anyone that would question your ministry knows nothing of your ministry. I don't remember divorce being the unforgivable sin.
Should David have been king?
Should Moses have led the people?
Should Paul have started churches?
Should I be a preacher since I am not spotless?
There is a little something I like to call "grace" that we UM's believe in. Its a shame not everyone does.
Greg
I read the original comment that you make reference to shortly after it was posted. This attack is a typical way some people rationalize their behavior. That is, rather than looking at one's own sin, point of the failings of another. Don't let small minded, finger pointing people bother you.
Christine; I happen to believe that non-Christians do have to follow Christian rules and if they don't they will be judged for it. Sin is sin whether its committed by a believer or a non-believer.
Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate the words of encouragement.
Keith, thank your for your good intentions and support in the manner. Let's try to keep the name calling down though. When someone from either side of the argument does that, it just incites others. Let us show the love of Christ. And I say this to you out of the love of Christ. Again, thanks for sharing your comments.
Alan, I am not the one to say who is called into the ministry and who is not. And I do not believe that just because you are gay that you are not a Christian. I believe that God loves each of us and calls each of us into a relationship with Christ and into ministry of some sort.
I believe that homosexual acts (sex between two men or two women) is sinful. You do not. So lets say we disagree on that matter. It doesn't make either of us bad people. God loves each of us equally.
In my belief, if someone is going to teach that homosexuality is ok, then I don't see them being called to preach this. This being because I think the act is sinful. That only makes sense. But I still am not the one to make the final call on this. God is.
I do not preach that divorce is ok. I am actually very ashamed of the fact that I am divorced. That is the difference in my opinion.
I agree that a lot of hateful things are said from extreme conservative folks. But the same can be said for the opposite side. And rather you agree or not, I do feel that I was slammed and judged. I have never tried to judge or put anyone down based on their sexual orientation.
Our problem on this issue is that each side believes that they are right and nobody is really trying to talk about how we can live together without fighting and judging.
I don't have an answer. But I will end on this note. If you are a person who's accepted Christ (which I have no reason to believ otherwise) then you and I are brothers in Christ. And as a brother, I love you. And I wish only the best for you.
Alan, I noticed that I didn't quite say anything about this statement.
"When I say that God calls me to be a member of the church as a gay man I'm told that I'm simply deluding myself, that God has given me over to my sin, that I'm depraved and can't hear the Word of God, etc."
If you've accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior (which again I don't have any reason to believe you haven't), then you are a member of the Body of Christ, and therefore the Church. What we who believe that homosexuality is a sin have to do is realize that we are just as sinful as you and anyone else are. God's grace showers you and me both. And thank God for that.
the people with good reason well, they have good reason and can be conversed with.. the rest, we pray the Holy Spirit will intercede.. &:~)
Hi, John, I understand your viewpoint; I agree that we'll all have to give an account for our sins.
But I noticed that Paul wrote about what to do and not do only to those who follow Christ~ if you were to disagree on that, I would still apply the belief that when we take up the cross with Jesus, we accept not only Him, but the better way He wants us to follow.
Let's get real~ most of us aren't so hot about following those rules. But in agreeing to follow Him, I believe we become one of those that "much is given, so much is asked of". A thing our non-Christian friends don't face, because they never vowed anything to Jesus.
And I myself would far rather see someone do something for Him out of love than out of a duty that others put on them.
Greg,
I left a post at Currie's blog, but it didn't get published. I was a singles' pastor for three years at a large DFW church and had to 'bone up' on what the Bible says about divorce. I'm going to blog about this tomorrow when I have the time. I think everyone will be surprised by what Jesus really meant when he said, "If you divorce and remarry another, you have committed adultery." It ain't what you think.
Look forward to reading your post Mark.
It would be so simple wouldn't it if we could simply go back and right wrongs without causing problems in the present... Jesus words go and sin no more did not require the undoing of the past, simply a moving on from that point...
This is releasing for I think it might take me a lifetime of putting stuff right if I were to try to mend every mistake and bad decision in my life.
I know what you mean Sally.
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