Question of the day ??
I will be moving on Monday. What color should we paint the new parsonage? And should we go with the pink flamingo look for the yard, or the old broken down car? My wife says she thinks the broken down car look is just way overdone. What do you think?
...you might be a redneck if you answer these questions!
posted by Greg Hazelrig @ 9:38 AM
13 comments
13 Comments:
Never mind the paintjob. Your parsonage has a couple of flat tires. Address those first so that you can move it closer to the water hookup.
Put the car up on blocks. That makes it part of the real estate and the repo man can't touch it.
I'm with Tony.
You NEVER put an old car on the front yard with the wheels on it. What kind of a moron would actually leave the wheels on an old rusting car.
Then I want get about 50 old tires. I then want you to dig a ditch about 12 inches wide, about 24 inches deep, accross the width of the front yard down by the road. Next, paint the tires white, then put them in the ditch and bury them half way up. Finally, get about 25 paint buckets or large coffee cans. Paint the cans red and put one in front of every other tire. Then buy some red gladiola bulbs. Plant those in the coffee cans.
If you need a new roof, have the PPC get folks in the church to donate a square or two of shingles each. Since y'all had a hurricane last year, I'm sure many of them got new roofs. They probably have 3 or 4 bundles of leftover shingle they can give as an offering. It doesn't matter that you will have green, black, grey, white, and brown shingles, they will do the job. Then you will be ready!
Do not listen to these people!! You are an ordained elder now. Show a little class.
Don't put the car on blocks. Just park it in the yard, take the hood off and plant flowers in the engine space.
everyone is forgetting the dogs.. gather up a whole gang of lazy mutts that live under or on the porch..
remember too, it's not so much about how you decorate, it's how you live at the house. i suggest a steady practice of peeing off the front porch.
I'm more of a back porch pee-er myself.
The front porch is where we sit to shell peas and butterbeans.
Don't forget your front porch area! You can take empty 2-litre soda bottles and make hanging baskets out of them.
Also, I am a big fan of poultry in the yard. A couple chickens really makes a place feel like home.
I thought having a refig on the front porch was mandatory. Except we don't have a front porch. We did paint the living room "rasberry sherbert," guess that counts for something.
Hope the move went smoothly. I have no redneck suggestions. Southern Wisconsin doesnt count as Southern!
:o)
Oh, but there are plenty of yankee rednecks, too.
Thanks guys (and gals). We have carefully considered all your suggestions, printed them out, and used them to help fill the garbage can, that is (by the way) out front...just not quite on the lawn. We actually have people with big trucks that come for stuff like that. In the last place we lived, they used convicts and everything had to be bagged or boxed. Here I can actually through your paper right in the garbage can and place it anywhere inside of the cylinder that I want. Cool huh?
I do have a slight problem though. I can't get dsl here through the phone company. And the dial up that I had in my prior location was bad enough at 52 kbps. Now it's slowed to 28 kbps. I may not be doing much on the computer until I find a solution. Otherwise I may be moved by my church for creating a big hole in the window that I'm now looking out of.
When are you going to get back online. Did you not explain to the PPR that you have a larger congregation?
Cable?
Satellite?
Could you not set up an office in a nearby motel with wireless internet?
Does this new church not understand that the world is your parish?
Danny, I priced satelite mainly because I wanted to get Direct TV and Turner South (which Cable cannot give me). But it costs $600 to set up and $100/mo. I'm not that crazy about TurnerSouth.
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